Don’t stop now…
I guess I finally hit the wall. The emotional wall of feelings that have been building since I arrived in Moscow on June 23rd. The days of shots, stem cell harvesting, chemotherapy, the stem cell re-infusion. The constant fatigue, the isolation, the longing to see my boys and my friends…it has taken it’s toll on me today. Knocked me down. And I am struggling to pick myself up…read on and you will learn why.
Yesterday I was allowed outside sooner than I had hoped. It had rained earlier in the day, so my white bench as too wet to sit and dream upon. I was only allowed 5-10 minutes of a very slow pace on my cane, but in that time I was almost reborn. Fresh air, the sun on your face, birds chirping and trees rustling in the breeze. I felt alive again, and it felt good.
I did crash into a pile of fatigue when I returned to my room. But the vacation outdoors remained with me.
Today begins a new and different chemotherapy. A one time, five hour+ infusion here in Moscow. I guess that’s why I’m so melancholy. To have such a great day yesterday, and taking the baby steps to climb mole hills. Then look to the sky and dream of the day I tackle mountains.
The cycle begins again. Today will wipe me out, and possibly keep me down and out for another few days as well. And then I’ll start all over.
Baby Steps
My White Bench in the Park
Sunshine on My Face
I’ll get there again, I can’t stop now.
Thanks for listening…
Goodnight Moon,
Lisa
From Russia with Lisa... 
10 Responses to “Don’t stop now…”
You will get there Lisa you are doing a great job much love from Aus xxx
Don’t stop now! You are DOing it! Keep healing! Xxxx
Its a marathon and you are headed to the finish line just one step at a time with many cheering for you.
Andy
Lisa,
I have been following your post and sharing it with The Path Class here at Church of the Servant as well as a few other people. When I read my morning devotional today, it was like reading about you and I knew it was meant to share with you. We know God ALWAYS keeps his promises and one of God’s promises was Isaiah 58:10-11:
” … If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”
I know the next several days will be a sun-scorched land for you, but He has assured you that He will satisfy your needs and strengthen your frame, and that a spring of healing waters will rise within you and restore you. The whole class has been praying for you, Lisa. We know that God will keep this promise to you.
Much love,
Lola
Lord I ask that you wrap Lisa in your loving arms and comfort her!
What’s a few more days? After all – you are almost down with all this. Sleep the time away, it’ll go faster…maybe. You are awesome. I think there are a lot of people reading this blog and rooting for Leeza! probably a lot more than you think. I wish they would all comment so you could see the support you have. Some of the people you know but a lot you don’t know and we are all pulling FOR YOU!!!!!
Love and kisses
Pat
oops – done with all this, not down!
Remember the fancy sports car analogy! Even they run low on gas; you WILL refill your tank and get back up to speed again, I know it!
Harold
Finish the race Lisa! You are strong and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! I love you!
You are much in my thoughts this evening, lifting you up in prayer. Our loving savior has arms to span any distance. Think of it as a “group hug” from all of us.